I HATE PETER WHO DOESN'T APPRECIATE ME

Fuck you Peter. I'm so sick of you making fun of me and I'm fed up of you acting like I'm dispensible and making me feel like I don't matter at all. I don't know why I bother with you. I don't care what you think anymore because I know that whatever I say to you will fall on deaf ears.

Vexed in Vancouver

I HATE PETER IN AN IVY LEAGUE SCHOOL

Fuck you Peter. Fuck you and your constant self-assurance and your need to gloat. Don't tell me. Just don't. I don't care what grade you got, what work you finished, how amazing you are. Why should I? Just so I can feel worse about myself?

The sarcasm, the endless misinterpretation of everything I say, the way you laugh if I get pissed at you or if I glare. Have you ever thought that maybe, just maybe, I'm not joking? Because maybe, just maybe, it's not that funny? It's not all fun and games constantly pushing yourself to do as much as you possibly can, and it doesn't help when you shove your achievements in my face, and laugh when I get angry.

Irked at an Ivy League School

I HATE PETER AT THE BAR

You are the biggest asshole I have ever met in my life... you pursued me for days until I decided to hang out with you and then we slept together and of course things changed, even after I told you I didn't want to sleep with you cause I knew I was going to regret it, and even then you kept me thinking there was something there, and then what? you stopped contacting me, won't even say hi to me, what is wrong with you, why couldn't you just go for one of the sluts that hangs out at your bar, why make SUCH an effort I mean 10 texts a day everyday for three days?? who does that for a girl they just want to sleep with, I was nothing but a chase, all you wanted was to sleep with me because I'm not one of those easy girls you're so used to, why introduce me to all your friends? why lead me on, knowing that I am not THAT type of girl, that if I slept with you it was only because I really liked you, you waited for me to fall and as soon as you lost interest you didn't even have the decency to tell me "hey, maybe we should just be friends" that is all I asked for, go on to completely ignore me for no reason, I was never clingy, I didn't call you every day, all I wanted was some respect... you are an idiot and you have no idea what you are missing out on, I was too good for you anyway, I mean you are never getting anywhere, I have a degree and a career, I never needed a looser like you. and you know what? I know I'm better off, and I know when we bump into each other again you are going to regret being such an ass.... I hope you're happy for making me feel like shit!! Have a nice life ASS!

I HATE PETER IN MY OLD RELATIONSHIP

I hate you Peter for hitting me. It was a really wimpy hit, but still you fucking hit me! 8 years of drama grief and strife 8 years and after the divorce, the dissolution of our business and 3 years of sobriety on MY part you finally decide to hit me? Without provocation THIS time? You are such a fucking weenie loser Peter. You are way behind the times my doormat and I'm going to continue to move on... to a better place... without losers like you who can't even leave a bruise. You hit like a 7 year old girl scout doped up on katamine. Get a life far away from me.
Fed up in self-reliance land

I HATE PETER IN MY HOUSE

I hate you Peter. You are not the father. I only keep you around so you
can do my housework and give me money. You are never having vagina off
me again. I will keep you till you die and I can get your life insurance.

I HATE PETER IN ATLANTA, WHO I ONLY COMMUNICATE WITH OVER THE PHONE

OH Peter. I thought some of the people I worked with are stupid, but you... well you just take stupid to a level that I've never experienced. You make everyone I work with look like Greek philosophy students who sit around discussing the Allegory of the Cave. You, Peter, probably don't know the definition of allegory, of for that matter cave.

Here's the thing. I know we're in a partnership. I know we have to "work together." But just because I'm sharing tape with you does not mean I have to be the editorial and logistics information center for my company as well as yours. YOUR company doesn't pay me to know which group that politician was speaking to today and where that group's convention was located. YOUR company doesn't pay me to provide information, that if you were doing your job (which on paper is the exact same as mine) you would already know.

Unfortunately, Peter, your company also doesn't pay me to tell you four simple little words that really do solve many of life's work-related information problems. Those words are, "Just Fucking Google It." Just do it. Just google it.

I'm going to share a secret with you. I didn't know where that convention was taking place today either. I didn't magically have the knowledge. So you know what I did, instead of calling you Peter, and asking... I just fucking googled it. It took a couple of tries but I stumbled on to a city and a time and even a mission statement.

I'm not trying to say I'm smarter than you Peter, I'm just more resourceful. And, well smarter. Yes, I'm smarter than you.

I've asked around about you Peter. I've asked people, "How'd Peter get that job?" Know one seems to know. The whisper is you've already slept your way to the middle. I hope for your sake your looks aren't the first thing to go. Not that I know what you look like since I only speak to you on the phone. But since you are exceedingly stupid, you better damn well be like 8000 times more beautiful than I am.

Just know this Peter, if there is some way I can get you fired so that I never have to speak to you again. I'll figure it out. Watch your back Peter. Watch your back.

- Mercilessly Plotting Mayhem in Manhattan

I HATE PETER AT THE OFFICE

I hate you Peter for your ridiculoulsy loud voice.

We sit in an open plan office and you, Peter, have the lungs of a Mammoth.

I have an idea, why not save on phone charges and just lean your head out of the window and talk. Any of the clients will surely hear you.

I go home with a headache each day, all I can hear when I go to sleep is your booming foghorn voice and frankly, Peter, it has to stop.

My God I hate you Peter

Deaf in Leeds