I HATE PETER WHO LIKES SLUTTY GIRLS

I hate you, Peter, for being interested in her, because that means you could never be interested in me. I hate you for not telling me you liked her, even though we are better friends than you and Peter. I hate you for never being able to think of me as anything other than a friend. I hate you for being so shallow. I hate you for liking dumb, pretty girls with big boobs who will whore it up with any guy instead of smart, funny girls who you are already friends with. I hate that you chose HER, of all girls, over me. Anything else would have been so much less insulting. I hate that you never talk to me when you have a girlfriend. It's not like we're anything more than friends. You couldn't even imagine it. I hate you, Peter, for acting like you're interested, getting my hopes up, and then going out with the biggest slut in the history of all sluts. I hate you, Peter, for leaving me at home on a Saturday night to write letters to a fake you about how much I hate you. I hate you, Peter, for liking a girl who is the antithesis of me.