Monday, September 24, 2007

I HATE PETER AT 24 HOUR FITNESS

Hey, Peter. What's going on? It's been awhile. Did you think maybe I was starting to like you? I wasn't. Still hate you. And let me tell you why. Don't worry. I will keep it short and sweet. Unlike you (short and pungent):

I waited for the elliptical. I'm fairly certain that at least one of the 20 people already on the elliptical type which I was waiting for had been on the elliptical for more than 20 minutes. I did not walk up to each of their machines, checking to see how long he/she had been on the machine. I did not stand in front of someone who had been on the machine for 27.5 minutes of his 30 minute work-out huffing and puffing, with an obnoxious look on my face signaling either my highly inflated self-worth or my extreme constipation. I did not call over a fitness trainer to kick said person off his elliptical with one minute to go in his workout. When I was waiting for my elliptical, I just waited. I know that's a novel concept, but I'm sure next time you might be able to handle it.

I hope the rest of your workout went exactly according to your master plan, Peter. I desperately hope you were not one minute late to your 1:00 appointment with the ugly stick.

Good bye, Peter. I hate you. More than you could ever know.

-Hot and Bothered in Hollywood

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