I HATE PETER IN THE DELTA AIRLINES TERMINAL AT LAX

First of all, I hate you, Peter. Let's just get that out of the way. Now we can really get down to business. Why, Peter? Why? Why would you be so pompous and ingenuous? Do you not know by now that airplane travelers are stressed out? Do you not know by now that your airline intentionally overbooks flights? Do you not know by now that just by the very fact of having only one employee at your gate's service counter during a primetime flight on a Thursday night is not nearly enough help to deal with all the customers?

So, if you don't remember, this is what I said to you, "Thank you for getting me on the plane (the last seat), because I am the photographer for a wedding tomorrow." And if you don't remember, this is what you said to me, "I would think that if you were a wedding photographer trying to get to a wedding you would try to be on time for your flight."

That's really what you're going to say to me, Peter? Really? So you actually think even though I purchased the ticket three months in advance, it was my intention to show up late enough to nearly miss my flight? Have you ever considered that maybe, just maybe I meant to get there two hours early, but my roommate had to work late and she was my ride? And that I considered taking a shuttle service, or leaving my car in long term parking, but I didn't have enough money to pay for it? And that when we finally got through the unexpectedly bad 10:00 PM Thursday traffic, I walked into the terminal and found out all of your self check-in eticket computers were not working, so everyone had to be checked in by an employee? Did you ever think that maybe when your crappy airline overbooks multiple flights by at least 40 people each, it puts a high stress on the security lines and they can't get passengers through at the normal speed? Did you ever think that maybe that was why I was late?

Also, Peter, you have a fat face. And a man's haircut.

Sincerely,
Worked Up in Westchester