Dear Peter,
I hate you. You are one hundred and nine degrees in September. You are the hot, rancid air of the devil's butthole.
Signed,
Gabriel Daniel Fahrenheit is Sweating in his Grave
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Have you ever desperately wanted to tell someone off, but couldn't find the words at the time?
Or there's someone you just can't stand, but you've never had the opportunity to tell that person why to his/her face.
Well, now's your chance. Tell Peter off. Tell him what you really think. Tell him exactly what you want to say to the other person.
It's time for you to have some closure.
YOU SHOULD WRITE TO PETER AND TELL HIM WHY YOU HATE HIM:
1) Send Peter an email telling him why you hate him at: ihateyoupeter@me.com
2) Never use the person's real name. Whether you are talking to a man, woman, boy or girl, always use "Peter."
3) Don't use your own name. Give yourself a snazzy nickname, like: "Losing It in Los Angeles" or "Fed Up in Philly."
4) Don't hold back. Now's your time to let Peter know how you feel about Peter.
5) NEW RULE: NO DEATH THREATS OR THREATS OF VIOLENCE.
6) NEW RULE: NO RACIAL SLURS.
2) Never use the person's real name. Whether you are talking to a man, woman, boy or girl, always use "Peter."
3) Don't use your own name. Give yourself a snazzy nickname, like: "Losing It in Los Angeles" or "Fed Up in Philly."
4) Don't hold back. Now's your time to let Peter know how you feel about Peter.
5) NEW RULE: NO DEATH THREATS OR THREATS OF VIOLENCE.
6) NEW RULE: NO RACIAL SLURS.
Who Peter Might Be to You:
Man
Woman
Boy
Girl
Animal
Your Boss
Your Coworker
Your Baby
The President
The Heatwave
Whoever Last Pissed You Off
Woman
Boy
Girl
Animal
Your Boss
Your Coworker
Your Baby
The President
The Heatwave
Whoever Last Pissed You Off
Blog Archive
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2007
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September
(14)
- I HATE PETER ON THE BUS TO WORK
- I HATE PETER ON THE METRO
- I HATE PETER AT 24 HOUR FITNESS
- I HATE PETER AT "UNNAMED CABLE NEWS NETWORK"
- I HATE PETER IN THE COMMERCIAL CASTING OFFICE
- I HATE PETER AT BARNES & NOBLE
- I HATE PETER ON THE DENVER BRONCOS
- I HATE PETER AT THE M BAR
- I HATE PETER IN MY PANTS
- I HATE PETER IN MY NEIGHBORHOOD
- I HATE PETER IN MY HOUSE
- I HATE PETER IN MY SWEAT GLANDS
- I HATE PETER IN THE DELTA AIRLINES TERMINAL AT LAX
- I HATE PETER IN MY BUILDING
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September
(14)
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