Dear Peter,
It's pretty lame and anti-sisterhood to go after another gal's man. I mean, we all know how super-douchey that is. I don't hate you because you did, in fact, end up with him in the end. The truth is he's kind of a tool himself. You guys probably deserve each other.
No, I'm pretty sure I just hate you because I feel so superior to you. I think you're pretty and you may well be smart but I'm both prettier and smarter. And funnier. OK, you have bigger boobs, but you have a fat ass. You could bounce a quarter off these buns! I know, I know, I'm being petty. But everytime I see your face on Facebook it makes me annoyed. I mean, you must be pretty desperate for approval and pretty warped about social convention to add his mother even though you've never met her. It's creepy, dude.
I hope you enjoy the inevitable downward spiral that most of his relationships take due to his inability to act like an adult and get his shit together. I also hope that you have fun with that family, because, guess what: They're the most ridiculous band of utter and complete fucking narcissists that has ever existed. And he's the worst one.
Do you want to know what the best part of this is? When I meet you in person I'll be really nice. Because I'm still friends with ol' Narcissucky I'll put my best foot forward. I'll be funny and engaging and really friendly. I'll even probably compliment your outfit or your lipgloss or your hair or whatever. You'll think I'm the kindest and most welcoming person on the planet, and you'll be right. I'm very cool.
But deep down you and I both know the truth. There really isn't any comparison between you and I. I am better than you. I am superior. Because I, unlike you, don't fuck with other people's boyfriends. And believe me when I say I've had opportunity. I know that to do something like that diminishes me as a human being. And I'm not willing to become less awesome just for a tawdry flirtation. If only you'd waited until we were broken up. I wouldn't have beef. If only I'd been wrong when I told him I thought you were interested. He told me I was being jealous and crazy. I wasn't, as it turned out. I'm just intuitive.
When you come here and visit you'll probably like me. Because I'm great. And you'll probably like my new boyfriend, who is an actual adult and also extremely cool. But I wouldn't try anything with him, sweetie. He's a real man, and I don't think you could handle one of those.
See you soon, Peter! xo
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3 comments:
Can't THINK why he dumped you. Lets look at the evidence shall we?. To quote you;
"I feel so superior"
"I'm both prettier and smarter. And funnier"
"I'm the kindest and most welcoming person"
"I'm very cool"
"I am better than you. I am superior."
You're very much in the cult of self worship aren't you? Don't you have HUGE ego. Maybe he wanted someone who would be interested in him instead of kowtowing to you all the time because you reckon you're so fucking brilliant.
Narcissus is with you, not her.
How do you know she hasn't met his Mum? Are you keeping tags on him or questioning mutual friends about where he is, who he'seeing and what he had for breakfast? You, my love, are being proper batshit mental stalky stalky. If you don't care about him why are you ranting about him on here?
Get it together and sort yourself out. He dumped you because you are a spoilt self centred bitch and fucking mental to boot.
Next time you have a relationship remember you're no the only person in it...
And why the hell are you looking at his Facebook profile and hers inspetcing who they are friends with? Nutjob.
You are sad!
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