I HATE PETER WHO USED ME FOR SEX

I hate you peter, because you used me for sex. Cheated on me obviously. Then still had the balls to lie to my face about you 'loving' me. You took my virginity, and promised me you'd never leave me, and would never do anything to hurt me. You lied. You talk about me in a degrading way, to all your stupid friends. Then you break up with me, saying the text book things a boy would say; "We're two different people." "We both want different things.". I'm not stupid, its all bullshit, you just wanted me to practise on. You never gave a shit about me, and you never will. I've had 2 sleep less nights, just crying, and wishing you'd come running back. I dont even know why i want you back, but i do. Your always on my mind, and i cry over stupid things that i see that remind me of you. If you loved me so much, then why don't you want to try and sort this out. Questions go round and round in my head... are you thinking about me? Do you miss me? Do you want me back? Did you ever love me? Do i even know what love is? I say how much i hate you, over and over in my head, trying to get peace of mind, to get you out of my head, and get over you. I file through boys i could start seeing now, because i want to make you jealous, for you too see what your missing, and maybe even start to get over you? You made me go on the pill, so we could do it "bare back". Yeah, i didn't mind going on it. But i didnt think you would dump me a under a MONTH later. You make me so angry, i wonder how i could be so stupid to belive all your stupid little lies,how could i be so stupid to beleive all the little notes you left with things you loved about me, how i could be so stupid to let you take my virginity so early, and make our relationship sexual, maybe i just wanted an incentive to make you stay with me? That fucking back fired. I say how much i hate you, but i know, if you rang me at any time, saying you wanted me back, i would come running back to you at the drop of a hat. I love you so much. I wish i could go back in time, do something differently, so maybe you wouldnt of left me. Go back to the train station where i first met you, and get back on the train home. Pretend i didnt see you on the plat form waiting for me, and walk away.
I hate you. I love you. Its bitter sweet :(