I HATE PETER WHO MADE ME FALL IN LOVE

Dear Peter,

First off, I hate you for making me fall in love with you. I hate you for going out with my best friend when I liked you. I hate myself for saying it was okay if she went out with you, because she knew I liked you. I do not hate her. I hate you for becoming my best friend and replacing her, then dumping me for such a stupid reason. I hate you for every single fight and every single time you'd make me cry and then you'd play that song that sent my head spinning from confusion. I hate how you'd always say my name and I'd break. I hate how you would always talk about her and never would ask me how I was and when I got upset about anything and tried to talk about it with you, you'd get mad at me. I hate how you sent me so many mixed signals, I couldn't keep them straight. I hate how I went back to you, begging you for our friendship back, because I knew I'd rather be your friend if I couldn't have you. I hate how you ruined me for love, and I'm so insecure if he actually loves me, that I question him all the time about it. Peter, what did I ever do to deserve it? I was there for you. Before your surgery, who was talking to you? Me. Who were you talking to instead of her that night? Me. She wondered why, but of course I was giving you advice about her. We had had a fight that night, and you gave me a hug. I melted inside and I hate you for that. I hate you for when we'd accidentally on purpose catch each other's eyes in the lunch room and we'd immediately look away. I hate you for all the times I've fantasized about you apologizing and begging for forgiveness. I hate you for being happy and ruining me for happiness. I hate you because I still love you a little. No matter how many times I've told myself that I'm over you, it's a lie every time. I hate you, Peter. And you don't care.

Sincerely,
Sappy Pitiful Me