I HATE PETER WHO USES ME SO BLATANTLY

Dear Peter,
Why do you do this to me? What have I done wrong to you? Why are you such a petty monster?
I hate how you are so full of yourself but in reality, you're not that awesome. You're not pretty on the inside or the outside. Your mind is so immature, I can't even begin to understand why you find serious things amusing... why you find someone's grandpa dying of a nose-bleed, funny. Why you find contraception funny. Why you find people hurting themselves funny. I hate the way you calmly stroll over in the mornings when none of your friends have arrived and say, "I look like a loner. So, I'm going to talk to you.". Do you know that it makes me hate you? Would you stop if I told you that I didn't like it? No. You wouldn't. You'd do the same thing over and over again. Then sit down like the queen of everything good and mighty and wait for me to start the conversation and when I do, you reply with, at most, 3 worded answers e.g. You're so strange. Well you know what, maybe I like to be 'strange'. I hate how you just stand up and leave when I'm in the middle of saying something. 3 years ago, I met you and I wanted to be your friend. Why? Because you were so quiet and secluded I thought you'd be a nice person, but you're not. You never talked to me even then. You pushed me away when I tried so hard to be nice. What did I do wrong? Do you hate the way I look and talk? Then I'm Sorrryyyy that I'm not pretty enough or perverted enough. Is it because I'm 'different'. Is it because no one has an accent like mine?
The way you think you're so cool and amazing because you wear converse or 'those-fat-lumpy-skate-boarding-shoes' (as you called them). You think it makes you cool? No. It doesn't. How you act like such a wh*re with people. How you get up close and start to rub them. Disgusting. Sure funny when done right but all the time? No. Just don't. No. How you dress with such tiny clothes. And wear a hoodie over it, showing off about how it's your boyfriends hoodie. How cool.
And why do you insist on stealing my only best friend. All my other friends had to leave for reasons they had no control over but why do you take away my only happiness. I've lost everyone. Everyone... when I moved a billion miles away. You have people who are willing to listen to your sad stories about jealous boyfriends. Well, the thing is. I'm a billion miles away from the guy I love. I'm a billion miles away from the people I love. I only have my best friend here. She's the only happiness I have. Just because I'm a good actress doesn't mean I'm not unhappy. When you saw scars on my arm you said, "What the f*** do you have to be unhappy about" and I laughed. I laughed at how utterly stupid you are. How amazingly stupid you are. I trust no one. I'm not like you who trusts any random person you're friends with. I hate how you don't like helping me. You help everyone else... why not me? I help you. I'd help you every chance I get... even now. Why? Because I like helping people. I Like helping people.
There's so much more I hate about you... so much more.
How you leap at every opportunity to put me down. I laugh at you.
How you shout hellos and good-byes at people but then... u just add my name on to the end with no enthusiasm.
I can't tell you to your face how I feel about you. That's not something I do. But just wait... when I'm standing on a small stage guitaring my heart out and when there's a small interview, I'll tell the world how you kill me everyday. With your 'Oh! This happened and this happened and this happened.' oh really? You didn't even say hi or ask me how I was but I'll just listen anyway if it makes you happy.
The thing about me is that I like it when everyone's happy. Even if they don't care about me. I can't bear to see someone sad. That's why I can't bear to be mean back to you. I know how it feels and I refuse to stooping down to your level. But nowadays I just don't give a damn anymore. I think you notice my cold attitude towards you.
I hate you. I've never hated anyone before in the whole 15 years of my life. But I hate you.
I don't care if you're like that. I really don't. It's your choice to be what you want. But I do hate you.
From Me.