I HATE PETER WHO DID THAT TO MY BEST FRIEND

so peter.
one question, why?
why would you do that to me?
why would you do that to my best friend?
i can't take this. last summer, i was in love with you. i deny it now. bcuz you hurt me so much, i completely dropped you outta my life. your name disgusts me. i can't even bear to say it. everytime i do, it kills me on the inside. my heart starts racing, i get chills, i flinch..that's how much you effected me. i hope your happy. i honestly thought that i could avoid you for the rest of my life. apparently not. i like your brother, yes. i think i'm in love with your brother. &yes, a part of me is terrified that he'll end up like you. but i think its different between me and him. wanna know why? cuz he's nice. he's a sweetheart. he's everything i could ever want. he's my best friend. and when you went off and completely tore me to pieces, he was there for me. i love him. and he loves me. not necessarily in the same way i love him, or i don't know maybe he does feel the same. anyways. this isn't about him. so i hung out with him the past 2 days. not expecting to see you at all. but of course, your there. we went swimming, you came along. we went to the movies, i had to deal in a car ride home with you. just everything about you pisses me off. i can't stand you. i tried apologizing. i tried to be nice. i tried to forget everything. but no. you still hate me. for no reason. which is dumb. your a dick. i hope you know that. i wouldn't even be mad at you anymore if it wasn't for what you did to my best friend. you hurt her worst than you hurt me. she loved you more than i did. your the only boy in this world who she liked that much. she got butterflies just by hearing your name. and then you did it. you hurt her. that's why i hate you so much. hurt me, i don't care. i'm a bad person. i deserved it. hurt her? that's when we have a problem. she's the best person in this world and did not deserve it whatsoever. i dreamed about you last night. seeing you 2 days in a row really effected me. and the fact that you have blue eyes (which i'm a total sucker for) hurts me badly. cuz the truth is, i don't hate you. i don't hate you at all. no, the truth is..i still love you, Peter. after everything you did. i STILL love you. and i hate it. i hate that i love you. becuz your so incredibly amazing, i hate you. for your blue eyes, for that amazing hair, for the way you look, for how hilarious you are, for how nice you are. cuz you are nice, even though you did horrible things, your sweeter than your brother. and that just doesn't seem possible. but it is. cuz you are. gosh, i feel like that "10 things i hate about you" movie. how the girl is completely in love with the boy but denies it and says she hates him and then at the end she writes that poem and the ending line is like "but i hate the fact that i don't hate you, not even a little bit, not even at all." or something like that. anyways. i hate you dude.
-thing one.