I HATE PETER WHO I AM DEEPLY IN LOVE WITH

Dear Peter,
How do you do this to me? How do you still have that stupid hold on me that makes me think of you every day?
Each and every one of my friends hate you, and I hate you too. But what I never told you is that I am so deeply in love with you.
But no, you're marrying her. Her, who you've known only a fraction of the time we were together. Why is she so special? Why couldn't you have asked me? I would have said yes instantly. I would of given you everything. I would have changed however you wanted me to just so you'd ask.
But no, you didn't. Yet you still get me naked, you still tell me off for making out with other guys, or seeing them, even though you know they will never last as I always compare them to you and then hate them. You changed me so much that no one wants me anymore, I have tried Peter, oh believe me I have, but no one will have me anymore.
I hope your fiancee finds out the real you, I'm tempted to send her our conversations just to ruin your life the way you ruined mine.
Peter, I hate you more than anyone I've ever hated, and love you more than anyone I've ever loved.
I've promised myself I will never see you again except once, when I will turn up at one of your shows, and hand you the letter I wrote for you the week before you left me. The last week that I was truly happy and a whole person.
The worst part about writing this, is I can't even say most of the stuff I want to say, because I know you will find this, know it's about you and absolutely break my heart over it, again.